I am angry and I am pissed.
Some say: "that which does not kill me will only make me stronger." I do not believe in this crap. Many many things can happen in life that will not kill you, but will leave you fucked, damaged beyond repair and messed up passed the point of sanity. Thats the reality of this life. That which does not kill you will make you numb. Thats it. Numb. It will make you build a cave, piece by piece, rock by rock. It will make you dig a hole. A dark and lonely hole. It will make you find a place to run away from life. Stronger is the wrong word. Stronger is the wrong word.
I am angry and I am pissed.
Life is not going to stop. Not for me, and not for you. Life is not going to stop being a bitch. At some point we think that maybe money can solve things. Money has power in this shit hole, I give you that. But there is this messed up thing about life that we cannot ignore. There are no guaranties in life. There are no fucking guarantees that can be bought. There is no guarantee that you will not see your child die in front of your eyes. There is no guarantee that you are not going to find the love of your life in bed with another person. No matter how much you try. No matter how alert of a watch dog you become. No matter how secure of a prison you build, you cannot fit all of life with all of its people and all of its possibilities in it.
I am angry and I am pissed.
This is the life that fucks people up to the point that they choose death. This is the life that fucks people up to the point that they rather take their chances with the darkness, with the emptiness that is purely unknown. I understand those who fuck themselves every day with dope and liquor and crack and cocaine and glue and PCP and meth and heroin, and every other freaking thing that they can find. They take as much as they can, whenever they can to keep their heads from spinning. To find a dark empty space in which they can disconnect themselves from this life, from this painfully powerful monster that bullies them every single fucking day. But that is not they way ... for one reason.
Dignity and self respect are the most important things that a person can be robbed of. Dignity and Self respect. And those are exactly the things that getting fucked up with drugs and alcohol will take away from you. Life will not stop being a bitch when you get fucked up. You know that, and I know that. Time does not stop. You know that, and I know that. If anything it is going to get more and more miserable. It is going to get more and more intolerable. All the eyes that watch you are going to shoot pity and disappointment at you. You will go down. Low, low, low, to the point of shitting your pants without noticing. I know, sometimes you wanna fuck you body and fuck you mind until you die. Die. Die. Fucking die. To end everything. To end the heartache and the pitiful looks, and the misery, and the disappointment. But death is not the answer. It is not the fucking answer. I wish it was.
There are no guarantees in life and there are no guarantees in death. There is no guarantee that you are not going to be reborn as a dog. There is no guarantee that you are not going to be tortured endlessly by a miserable and angry god. There is no guarantee that it is going to feel any better. There are no fucking guarantees. If you are willing to take your chances with something that you know absolutely nothing about, I think you would have a better chance investing that energy in this fucking world where at least you know a little about the rules and the game and the enemy.
I am angry and I am pissed.
You are the only one you've got in this life. You are the only savior you have. You are the only hand you can count on to pull you out of your misery.
As he said: Life is hard kid, but you gotta be harder.
Yeah life is fucking hard. And people are fucking messed up. And you go on telling yourself that this is the last heartache and the last disaster and the last disappointment and you end up being a lier. Life will do its job. It will do its best to fuck you over. You've got you and nothing else. You gotta try your best and be the best you can, and heal your wounds the only way you know how and stand tall. Stand fucking tall and apologize to no one for the way you live your life. You gotta be a fucking man about how you live your life. Do your best and be proud of your best.
I am angry and I am pissed.
Life is not a childish game you can win with childish tricks. You cannot make the pain go away by blaming everyone and everything. You cannot make things better by letting others tell you how to live your fucking life. You cannot make things better by pointing fingers at god and fate and destiny whenever things go wrong. Grow up. Be a man. Be a fucking man. And you cannot make the pain go away by hating every living thing around you. You gotta try hard and laugh hard an love even harder. The attachments you make with other living things are what will make you stay alive. The love you keep in your heart is going to make you keep going when you hit rock bottom, when you are holding on to your sanity by a thread.
I am angry and I am pissed.
I am going to lose something precious again. I am going to let go of someone I love again. My heart is going to get shattered again. I am going to feel miserable again. Because life is a motherfucking whore. Because life stops for no one, feels sorry for nor one and gives a break to no one. I am going to miss you. I am going to go crazy remembering you. Something is going to pierce my heart every time I think about you. I am going to cry my eyes out missing you. But I will not forget you. Maybe some day, when I am fucked beyond repair, and messed up passed the point of sanity, your memory will help me hold on to whatever is left of me.
Some say: "that which does not kill me will only make me stronger." I do not believe in this crap. Many many things can happen in life that will not kill you, but will leave you fucked, damaged beyond repair and messed up passed the point of sanity. Thats the reality of this life. That which does not kill you will make you numb. Thats it. Numb. It will make you build a cave, piece by piece, rock by rock. It will make you dig a hole. A dark and lonely hole. It will make you find a place to run away from life. Stronger is the wrong word. Stronger is the wrong word.
I am angry and I am pissed.
Life is not going to stop. Not for me, and not for you. Life is not going to stop being a bitch. At some point we think that maybe money can solve things. Money has power in this shit hole, I give you that. But there is this messed up thing about life that we cannot ignore. There are no guaranties in life. There are no fucking guarantees that can be bought. There is no guarantee that you will not see your child die in front of your eyes. There is no guarantee that you are not going to find the love of your life in bed with another person. No matter how much you try. No matter how alert of a watch dog you become. No matter how secure of a prison you build, you cannot fit all of life with all of its people and all of its possibilities in it.
I am angry and I am pissed.
This is the life that fucks people up to the point that they choose death. This is the life that fucks people up to the point that they rather take their chances with the darkness, with the emptiness that is purely unknown. I understand those who fuck themselves every day with dope and liquor and crack and cocaine and glue and PCP and meth and heroin, and every other freaking thing that they can find. They take as much as they can, whenever they can to keep their heads from spinning. To find a dark empty space in which they can disconnect themselves from this life, from this painfully powerful monster that bullies them every single fucking day. But that is not they way ... for one reason.
Dignity and self respect are the most important things that a person can be robbed of. Dignity and Self respect. And those are exactly the things that getting fucked up with drugs and alcohol will take away from you. Life will not stop being a bitch when you get fucked up. You know that, and I know that. Time does not stop. You know that, and I know that. If anything it is going to get more and more miserable. It is going to get more and more intolerable. All the eyes that watch you are going to shoot pity and disappointment at you. You will go down. Low, low, low, to the point of shitting your pants without noticing. I know, sometimes you wanna fuck you body and fuck you mind until you die. Die. Die. Fucking die. To end everything. To end the heartache and the pitiful looks, and the misery, and the disappointment. But death is not the answer. It is not the fucking answer. I wish it was.
There are no guarantees in life and there are no guarantees in death. There is no guarantee that you are not going to be reborn as a dog. There is no guarantee that you are not going to be tortured endlessly by a miserable and angry god. There is no guarantee that it is going to feel any better. There are no fucking guarantees. If you are willing to take your chances with something that you know absolutely nothing about, I think you would have a better chance investing that energy in this fucking world where at least you know a little about the rules and the game and the enemy.
I am angry and I am pissed.
You are the only one you've got in this life. You are the only savior you have. You are the only hand you can count on to pull you out of your misery.
As he said: Life is hard kid, but you gotta be harder.
Yeah life is fucking hard. And people are fucking messed up. And you go on telling yourself that this is the last heartache and the last disaster and the last disappointment and you end up being a lier. Life will do its job. It will do its best to fuck you over. You've got you and nothing else. You gotta try your best and be the best you can, and heal your wounds the only way you know how and stand tall. Stand fucking tall and apologize to no one for the way you live your life. You gotta be a fucking man about how you live your life. Do your best and be proud of your best.
I am angry and I am pissed.
Life is not a childish game you can win with childish tricks. You cannot make the pain go away by blaming everyone and everything. You cannot make things better by letting others tell you how to live your fucking life. You cannot make things better by pointing fingers at god and fate and destiny whenever things go wrong. Grow up. Be a man. Be a fucking man. And you cannot make the pain go away by hating every living thing around you. You gotta try hard and laugh hard an love even harder. The attachments you make with other living things are what will make you stay alive. The love you keep in your heart is going to make you keep going when you hit rock bottom, when you are holding on to your sanity by a thread.
I am angry and I am pissed.
I am going to lose something precious again. I am going to let go of someone I love again. My heart is going to get shattered again. I am going to feel miserable again. Because life is a motherfucking whore. Because life stops for no one, feels sorry for nor one and gives a break to no one. I am going to miss you. I am going to go crazy remembering you. Something is going to pierce my heart every time I think about you. I am going to cry my eyes out missing you. But I will not forget you. Maybe some day, when I am fucked beyond repair, and messed up passed the point of sanity, your memory will help me hold on to whatever is left of me.
Maybe ...
I love you
I want the best life for you
I love you
I want the best family for you
I want you to become a strong and confident savior
I love you
I will miss you
I will fucking miss you
I will miss you
I will miss you
I will miss you